Everyone is just so darn funny

So yesterday, I made a flurry of phone calls with one specific question.

"Can you wash a baby chick?"

Everyone laughed at me.

Yeah guys like I have nothing better to do, I just got bored and decided it might be fun to give the chicks a bath?

No.

Actually we have really crappy waterers. The kind that slosh everywhere when you set them down. And leak all over the bottom of the chick pen if they are not completely level. or if they bumped or pretty much for no reason at all.

Anyways they created a little puddle in one corner of the pen.
The chicks then pooped in the puddle.
They then proceeded to play in the poop puddle.
and now?

Now I have 26 very VERY dirty little chicks.

I changed all the hay in the bottom of the pool pen. I washed everything out.
But I still have very dirty little chicks.

and I'm torn.
I have 2 trains of thought on this.

One. washing a chick and getting it wet seems like a really good way to get the chicks sick

but

Two. Any animal should never be covered in its own feces. That in itself could cause it to get sick.

So I made a ton of phone calls asking for advice on washing the chicks. EVERYONE LAUGHED at me. The suggestion is, if I feel like I should clean them probably just do it with a slightly damp paper towel. Don't wash them,
Right guys
Like I was going to stick them in the dish washer or something?!?!